Hamlet Gets Down in the Country!

What if Shakespeare's "Hamlet" took place in the countryside...

Hamlet is a young cowboy that works in the fields, feeding the cows and planting seeds. Gertrude is a stay at home mom that used to cook savory country food for her and her beloved husband Hamlet. Old Hamlet, owner of the most pristine cattle ranch in all of the country, was a loving father and husband until he was murdered by his brother. Claudius, brother and murder or Old Hamlet, lives on a farm down the ways growing and doing who knows what. He has supposedly murdered his brother by pouring toxic field fertilizer in Old Hamlets mouth while he was dozed off on a rocking chair on his porch. Then there is Polonius and his children Laertes and Ophelia. Polonius was Old Hamlets right hand man. He did whatever, whenever for Old Hamlet. Ophelia is a beautiful southern bell that Hamlets been crushing on ever since they were little kids. Polonius and his kids live in a house on the property of Old Hamlets magnificent ranch. Some of Hamlets good friends that he likes to mess around with are ol' Marcellus and Horatio. 

If "Hamlet" would have been set in the southern country side, a whole lot of southern sass and attitude would have been flying. Claudius would be some hunky cowboy that swept Gertrude off his feet and fooled everyone with his southern class and witty remarks. Hamlet would young but strong. He would escape from having to be with his mother and Claudius by riding horses and spending time in the fields with his best friends Horatio and Marcellus. He would also love to meet up with his crush Ophelia at the local saloon. This saloon is where Hamlet would reenact the murder of his father. All hell would be let loose between Claudius, Gertrude, and Hamlet when the details about Old Hamlets death are revealed. 

(Act 1 Scene 2) 

Everyone in the small town or Elsinore, Georgia has come to hear the new cattle king speak. A small podium is set in front of about 3 dozen chairs. All these chairs are filled and there are some people that are standing in the back. Gertrude is standing next to the podium wearing a large hat and somewhat revealing dress. She doesn't look like the wife of a man who just got murdered. Claudius walks up to the podium with a cowboy hat that covers his eyes and casts a shadow over his face. He rambles about how he is going to raise these cattle and provide the best quality meat for everyone in town, even better than Old Hamlet. After his long speech, Claudius comes across Hamlet who looks everything but excited about the situation. Claudius makes some caustic remarks that fires up Hamlet and puts him at his edge. Hamlet runs off with his horse and wishes that he could just run away forever and disappear.